Pretty Girls Don't Cry
by icaughtfire
Summary: Spencer is relieved when Glen accepts her and Ashley's relationship. She gets a burst of inspiration and decides to tell everyone in school during a morning assembly. Let's just say it ends in a standing ovation.
1. Pretty Girls Don't Cry

"**Pretty Girls Don't Cry"**

**A/N: Just a real quick note here. This is the beginning of my first _real_ story in a long time. I decided enough with the short crap! I got back into the flow of things, and I've wanted to write a Spashley story with more than 2 chapters. It's about time!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South of Nowhere.  
Lyrics in this chapter owned by Chris Isaak. **

**Ashley's POV**

I was in bed that morning, sick. I had a terrible case of the flu, an awful sore throat, and I could barely speak. It was nice not having to go to school though. My mom was off doing who knows what, and I had the house to myself. It was perfectly quiet, and left me time to think. And I thought about her.

She had deep sparkling eyes and charmingly golden hair. It fell to her shoulders delicately, and reminded me of honey. Every time I gazed at her, I could almost taste the sweetness of it. But that wasn't all. Everything about her seemed poetic almost. From her soft hands to her innocent lips, and it drove me crazy. It was practically destroying me not seeing her today. Spencer had the purest soul I'd ever known. She looked at the world in a different way than I did. She wasn't used to seeing the pain, only the laughter in things, and it was beautiful. She simply took in her surroundings, wide-eyed and hesitant. She spoke softly in this velvet whisper that I couldn't help but adore. She was the picture perfect example of everything I have ever ached for in my life.

Her beauty was hard for me to speak of, because it wasn't one that I fully understood. All I knew was that she embodied everything I used to be. Tragic with all hope lost, confused beyond all reason. I found that breathtaking. I saw myself in her eyes, and feared drowning in those deep blue pools if I looked too long. The day that I met her, I knew. I knew it all, and I knew it well. The story unfolded right before my eyes, and I was never surprised. I cared for her, and felt it in the core of my being. Those feelings were almost cutting, almost painful. In my heart, I craved for her attention, and needed nothing more. The moment our lips barely grazed each other, I was happier than I have ever felt in my life. It was maddening that the moment got ripped away so quickly, and I wanted more than anything to feel it again. Things were awkward now, because Spencer had to make them awkward, and it was terrible. I wanted things to be back to the way they were before. I wanted to know that things were going to work out well. I wanted her.

I didn't know if I deserved her, and I didn't know if I would ever have her in my life the way I wanted, but it was glorious to pretend. That day as I lay there in bed, I cried tears of frustration that tasted of salt and sadness. Everything needed to work itself out, and if she wasn't going to make any effort at all, then I had to.

_Pretty girls don't cry, they know exactly what they want.  
Pretty girls walk by, with eyes that smile, faces that haunt.  
I watch them walk, I wonder, turn away,  
I try but I can't find the words to say,  
I know that you don't love me but I'm watching you._

Once I knew that school was over, I picked up my phone, ready to call Spencer. I gazed at my phone for a moment, mulling over my thoughts. Scrolling down to Spencer's name, I paused again. Seeing her name put a smile on my face. Sighing deeply, I clicked her name, desperately clenching my teeth as the phone rang.  
She answered the phone on the second ring. ''Hello?" Spencer said sweetly. I broke out into a grin, very glad to hear her voice. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

"Hey," I choked out hoarsely. "How's my favorite girl?"  
"Oh, wow. You don't sound so good. Are you sick?" Before I could answer, she went on. "I'm great, but uh, I missed you today." She said this last part a bit hesitantly.

"Yes, I happen to have the flu, and it happens to suck. A lot. But it makes me feel better that you missed me, " I let my voice drop lower before I continued. "I missed you too. "

"Aw, how sweet. I'm sorry to skip out on you, Ash, but I kinda have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully. " She hung up and I sighed, disappointed.

Little did I know Little Miss Adorable was on her way right now, forcing her brother Glen to drive her over. I had been dozing off to sleep when I suddenly felt something move. Someone was in my room. I opened my eyes and jumped up, screaming. Spencer burst into a fit of giggles, and laughed even harder when I squinted my eyes and took a moment to realize it was her. I felt a little stupid, and very embarrassed to say the least.  
"Okay, how unfair was that? You lied to me, and you scared the CRAP out of me. Humph, I don't know if I like you anymore."

She pounced on top of me, knocking me back onto my bed. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, and I relaxed against her.  
"You liiike me. You know you do. " She flirted, running her finger along my cheek. Things were already getting back to the way they had been, and I loved every minute of it. I settled into her shoulder, before lifting my head up and looking at her carefully.

"Spence, you do realize that by being around me right now, you're most likely going to catch the flu." I reasoned, getting up and pulling her up with me.  
"I don't care. I'm not sick often enough anyways. I have a great immune system. Mom feeds me lots of vegetables." She argued with a smile, putting her arms around my waist and forcing us to stand closer. I felt my face heating up as my eyes met hers.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, sounding angrier than I felt. "One minute you're afraid of me and the next, you can't keep your hands off of me. Make up your mind, Spencer. I can NOT deal with your curiosity right now, so if that is all this is, then don't waste your time on me."

"What are you talking about? I was just being _friendly_!" Spencer claimed, taken aback. I scoffed, shaking my head all too knowingly. "You're supposed to be here for me right now, Ashley, not yell at me for something you're imagining in your head. Yes, I am confused about my sexuality, and you know that, but that doesn't mean I want you. Even if I did, why would it matter?"

"I won't be that girl, the one you use to 'test' if you like girls or not. I can't and won't do that, because I know how that ends up. It always ends the same-- and I can't bear to put either one of us through that. I really care about you, I do. That's why I'm acting this way. I don't want us getting hurt. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I would NEVER use you like that. It's impossible for me to do that to you. I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. I thought you knew that. Please just understand where I'm coming from. I need someone to talk to. You just keep taking things the wrong way and you think I'm flirting with you when I'm not! So stop being so conceited. Not everything is about you."

I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes. No way would I let her see me cry. But the remark she made was really hurtful. Maybe she was right though, maybe I was reading too much into things, and there was nothing behind the things she said. I could be imagining things, even though the body language and everything she says seems to be pointing straight at GO!  
"I think you're just a tease!" I shouted this out before I could stop myself. From the way she looked at me, I could tell that she didn't appreciate what I said. Spencer simply shook her head, clouds of disappointment forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I came here and bothered you. It was a stupid idea." Tears came streaming down her face and she ran out the door. I took off after her. I ran about 2 blocks behind her, but gave up, sinking to the ground. And I cried.

_Pretty girls don't cry, they know exactly what to do.  
Pretty girls walk by, but they won't ever smile at you.  
I watch them walk, I wonder, turn away,  
I try but I can't find the words to say  
I know that you don't love me but I'm watching you._


	2. Skylines and Turnstiles

"**Skylines and Turnstiles"  
**

**A/N: I've got so many ideas for this story; I just can't wait to write them all out. I wish SON would hurry up and return to The-N because I'm experiencing extreme withdrawal.  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by My Chemical Romance. (Buy their CDs.)**

**Ashley's POV  
**

_You're not in this alone,  
Let me break this awkward silence.  
Let me go, go on record.  
Be the first to say I'm sorry.  
_

I was so, so very stupid. Why did I let my emotions take over? I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore! I went and said the wrong thing. I said something I didn't mean. She took it the wrong way and now things were even more screwed up than ever. I wanted to apologize to her. I needed to. But I didn't know what I was going to say. What _could_ I say?  
Spencer made me do stupid things. She was so confusing and she scrambled up my brain, making me act crazy. I could honestly say that I had never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life. She was such a blessing and such a curse. Sometimes I wished I hadn't ever met her and other times I wished I had met her sooner.

There was no way I could talk to her yet, but I had to talk to somebody. I thought of calling Aiden but decided against it, and instead chose Clay. He was, in fact, Spencer's brother and he knew her pretty well. I called his cell phone, and he answered on the first ring. He sounded excited to hear from me.

"Ashley, I'm glad you called, because I really needed to talk to you. Spencer has been moping around all day and I just can't stand it anymore. She won't tell me what's wrong and I figured since you're her best friend, that you could let me in on it. Whose ass needs to be kicked?" Clay was so protective. It was sweet.

"Well, she's upset because of me, so I guess you gotta kick **my **ass. I said some things I didn't mean because I was a little upset. Um, I kinda have these feelings for Spencer and I could swear she had them back but she kept saying she didn't. I got pissed off and called her a tease and everything. I really regret it and now I don't know what to do. I was just calling to ask for advice, and to um, see how she's doing." I was hesitant to tell him this, but I knew that Clay wasn't the type to be judgmental. That was definitely something I admired about him. He was pretty much the opposite of his brother Glen, who I couldn't stand by the way.

"She's not suicidal or anything, but she's pretty down. She's been cooped up in her room all day. My advice? Be straight with her." He laughed. "No pun intended. But seriously, I think you need to lay it down, tell her exactly how you feel. Spencer is stubborn about stuff like this. I know she's into you, I can tell. She'll come around in time, I think she's just afraid of getting into something that might be too much for her. The number one thing is, apologize for what you said, because obviously it hurt her."

"Thank you, Clay. Who is at your house right now?" I asked, wondering if now was a good time to come over.

"Right now it's just Spencer and I. Glen's out with the wonderful cheerleader known as Madison. I can clear out if you want to come over and speak with Spencer alone." He replied nonchalantly. I smiled at his response.

"You'd do that?" As I said this, I was amazed at how perceptive and sweet he was. Clay was definitely my favorite Carlin. Well, my favorite besides Spencer of course. He said he would indeed do that, and told me to come over in about fifteen minutes. I hung up the phone and gazed at myself in the mirror. I was in desperate need of a change of clothes. I wasn't going over to Spencer's looking like I did.

I changed into a low cut black tank top with golden rhinestones on it. Then I slipped into a pair of my tight fitting jeans, and a pair of converse high tops. I brushed my teeth and put on a little makeup. Making sure my hair looked good, I gazed at the clock. I'd spent long enough getting ready, and now I could head over to Spencer's house. With a nervous sigh, I left my house and got into the car.  
The drive to Spencer's felt long. It seemed to take hours to get there. That was probably because of how anxious I was feeling. I just wanted to get all of this over with and get things back to the way they had been. For a moment things were great again, and then I messed them up, yet again. I have a knack for messing things up.

_Hear me out.  
Well if you take me down,  
Or would you lay me out?  
And if the world needs something better,  
Let's give them one more reason now.  
_

Turning off my car, I took a deep breath and walked up to the front door of the Carlin house. I stared at it for a moment before knocking loudly. It took a minute or two for a tired-looking Spencer to answer the door. When she saw who it was, her facial expression changed. It was partially happy and partially not. I just put on a big grin, noticing her messy hair. She was wearing pajamas. And her face was red, like she'd been crying. Oh no. That made me feel bad. Shifting my weight uncomfortably, I looked up at her.

"May I please come in?" I asked this politely, giving her no reason to turn me away. She simply nodded her head, letting me in and taking a seat on the couch. I took a seat beside of her and cleared my throat, not sure where to begin.

"If you have something to say, go ahead and say it." Spencer snapped, anger taking the place of the surprise on her face.

"Oh, okay. I wanted to apologize for the way I acted and what I said the other day. I didn't mean it at all. I don't think you're a whore. I was just upset because," I paused. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to tell her I was in love with her and wanted to spend every waking moment of the rest of my life in her arms? Yes. I wanted to tell her that. I sighed deeply, preparing myself for the variety of responses I might receive. It's now or never, I thought to myself. "I was upset because I didn't get the response from you that I wanted. If you don't feel the same way about me that I do about you, then I just need to accept that. I still don't know if I can. I don't think I can handle being just friends."

"What are you saying? Are you giving me an ultimatum? Be with you or don't be friends at all? How can you say that?" Her voice rose at this last part, sounding upset. I shook my head in disbelief. Why did everything I say come out totally different than intended?

"I don't understand how everything I say comes out wrong. Spence, what I'm trying to say is-- I'm in love with you. Damn it, I love you so much. I've never felt like this before, never." I gazed at her, noticing her silence, and wanting to touch her so badly. "What are you thinking?"

Spencer rose from the couch, pacing back and forth. I watched her as she did so, desperately wanting to do something. But I just sat there, until she stopped pacing and looked directly at me.

"You want to know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking I want to be with you but I can't. I'm thinking that this is all just a dream. I'm thinking that I'll never know what it's like to kiss you and that's the most disappointing feeling in the world." She said this which such passion; I simply stared in awe.

"The disappointment you feel can be erased," I smiled, getting up and taking her hands in my own. "I promise you that one kiss will make all your thoughts make sense again. I'm going to kiss you now. If you don't want me to, all you have to do is pull away." I leaned forward, letting go of her hands and putting my hands around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I felt her hot breath on my face and closed my eyes, going in for the kiss I so deeply desired. She didn't pull away. She leaned into me, letting her arms fall to my waist. She kissed me back, and all hesitation disintegrated.

_And in this moment we can't close the lids on burning eyes.  
Our memories blanket us with friends we know like fallout vapor.  
Steel corpses stretch out towards an ending sun, scorched and black.  
It reaches in and tears your flesh apart,  
As ice cold hands rip into your heart.  
_

When it was over, both of us were smiling. A strand of her hair fell over her eyes and I instinctually pushed it away.  
"What does this mean?" Spencer asked me, sounding slightly afraid.  
"It means whatever you want it to mean." I answered sincerely. I heard a car door slam shut. I jumped away from Spencer, going over and sitting on the couch. I didn't want her mother witnessing anything her poor little heart couldn't handle. Spencer giggled, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. Sure enough, it was Mrs. Carlin. She came inside, and when she saw me, got a not-so-pleasant look on her face.

"Oh hello, Ashley." I smirked. _I see right through your transparent kindness,_ I wanted to say to her. But I said hello, like a nice girl. I saw her giving Spencer a disapproving look, and she scampered into the kitchen, keeping a watchful eye on us both.

"I think that's my cue to leave," I lowered my voice. "We can continue this discussion later. Say, at my house?" I grinned, squeezing her hand quickly and making my way to the door. She followed me outside, closing the front door behind her.

"I'll be over in about an hour," She whispered, giving me a shy kiss on the cheek. "Hopefully I can sneak out without mom noticing."

"You've done it before." I pointed out with a wink, hopping into my car and waving goodbye. I watched Spencer go back inside, and wondered what her mother would say to her while I wasn't there to defend myself.

One hour of waiting was sure hell to pay. I tried to occupy my time, but it kept passing slower and slower. Finally the time rolled around, and right on cue, Spencer appeared at my window. I snickered, letting her inside.

"You do realize that there's no one home and you could have just came in through the front door? That's loads easier, you know." I teased with a grin.

"Oh, shut up." She hissed, pushing me down onto my bed with uncharacteristic aggressiveness. She gave me an open-mouthed kiss, then followed up with a deeper kiss, clutching my hands in hers. Spencer bit at my lip with ferocity, and I saw a glimmer of happiness in her eyes. I took over now, pushing her off of me and against the wall. Our lips joined together once again. I let my hands roam up her shirt and she paused, taking a moment to throw her shirt on the floor. I gazed at her breathlessly, admiring her beauty. She smirked, wrestling me to the ground and pinning me down.

"Do you love me?" Spencer asked, trailing kisses down my collarbone.  
"Of course." I answered quickly, not resisting against her. She let go of me long enough to run into the bathroom. I followed her in curiosity.

Spencer was in the shower. She beckoned me to join her. I couldn't resist. I got in with her, and had the best shower of my life.  
Little did I know, things were about to become A LOT more complicated.

_  
Hello angel, tell me, where are you?  
Tell me where we go from here._

**A/N: Took the "Do you love me?" line from D.E.B.S.**


	3. Slow Hands

**"Slow Hands"  
**

**A/N: Yeah, short chapters are my thing I guess.  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by Interpol.**

Ashley's POV  


_Yeah but nobody searches,  
Nobody cares somehow.  
When the loving that you've wasted,  
Comes raining from a hapless cloud.  
_

"That was wonderful," I whispered sweetly into her ear. A goofy grin found its way onto my flushed face.  
"Yeah." Spencer replied sounding far away, like she was lost in a sea of thoughts. I turned to look at her, frowning slightly as I did so. She'd been acting strange since the shower. Even then, she was being uncharacteristically aggressive. I was beginning to get worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked, searching for an answer in her eyes. But all I saw was solid blue, with no trace of what she was feeling. I sighed, getting up from my bed. Spencer remained silent, staring forward, almost like a zombie. "Did I do something wrong?" I became hysterical as I asked this, jumping onto the bed and shaking her. I was determined to get an answer, anything to explain her particularly odd behavior.

"This was a bad idea." Spencer said quickly, gathering up her clothes from the floor and hurriedly getting dressed. I grabbed her by the arm, not wanting her to leave.

"What was a bad idea?" I questioned softly, taking her hand. I couldn't help feeling a little hurt when she jerked her hand away, shaking her head violently.  
"All of this. Trying to prove I'm not," Her voice trailed off before she could say it. "By doing this with you, I was trying to prove to myself that these feelings weren't real." She fought past me, running down the stairs like a maniac. I followed, stopping her again at the front door.

_I myself may look upon your face,  
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze,  
See the living that surrounds me,  
Dissipate in a violent waste.  
_

"And are they? Are these feelings real?" I asked desperation apparent in my voice. She refused to answer. She shoved me out of the way, opening the door and disappearing into the dark night. I stood there in the doorway, so completely lost. I had done absolutely nothing wrong. Spencer came to my house, and she was all over me. Now it sounded like she regretted our experience.  
I closed the door with a sigh, making my way to the couch. I settled onto it, closing my eyes. It had been amazing. Not mindless, meaningless like I was used to. It meant something. I knew I was in love with Spencer and making sure that was known to her? Well, it felt right. She was using all of this to prove to herself and me as well, that she wasn't gay.

Then I realized it. Spencer felt something. She felt something real and that scared her. So she did the only thing she could. She ran away. She wouldn't even admit her feelings to me. It was frustrating, but at the same time, I knew exactly what Spencer was going through. I'd been through this before, denying the unavoidable. Spencer liked girls and she needed to accept that. Now she was probably going to wonder if she liked guys at all.

I must admit, I myself was curious. Was she gay, or was she bisexual? I was hoping for all-out lesbian, because at least then, I'd have less competition. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Wow, I'm kind of pathetic, aren't I? With a shrug, I returned to my room, putting on some soft indie rock to play in the background while I slept. Turning the light off, I settled into my comfortable bed, the scent of Spencer's perfume still lingering in the air like an unmade promise.

_I submit my incentive is romance.  
I watched the pole dance of the stars.  
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless,  
From the distance of passing cars.  
_

I slept for what seemed like weeks, and when I awoke, it was the afternoon. I had slept only until two o'clock PM, which wasn't late considering I went to bed around two AM. Thinking about it for a moment, I realized I had slept for 12 hours. Was that a long time? I had been drifting around in a dreamland of sorts, and it was peaceful. In my dreamland, things were wonderful. Everyone was my friend, and anything I ever wanted, I had. But then I woke up.

Back to the reality of your best friend hating you, along with half of the rest of the world. Even I was starting to hate myself, but I was certain exactly why. I knew that I had to set things right again, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I traced the lines on my palm with the end of my finger, sadly remembering the feeling of Spencer's fingers intwined with mine. To be that way again was something I longed for. I was becoming almost obsessive. I was obsessed with love and fascinated with every thought in Spencer's head. I was fascinated with the way her eyes danced and how her hair seemed to flow perfectly onto her shoulders. I needed her. I craved her...

_But I am married to your charms and grace,  
Just be crazy like the good old days.  
You make me wanna pick up a guitar,  
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you.  
_

**A/N: I'm planning to feature other characters from now on!**


	4. Show Me Love

"**Show Me Love"  
**

**A/N: This will be the start of POV switching. I already have the plot worked out through the entire story, and there are going to be 10 chapters in all.  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by t.A.T.u.**

**Ashley's POV  
**

_This was an accident,  
Not the kind where sirens sound.  
Never even noticed,  
We're suddenly crumbling.  
_

I decided to speak with her the next day at school. At least then, she couldn't avoid me. I got up that morning, making sure I looked extra-nice. It couldn't hurt. With a glance in the mirror, I started the car. I drove by Spencer's house, stopping at the curb and staring at it. It was intimidating, just sitting there, and practically mocking me. With a deep breath, I parked the car and walked up to the front door. Maybe she hadn't left yet and she would let me give her a ride to school. But that was highly doubtful. I knocked on the door, and waited for a minute. The door opened, Mrs. Carlin standing there. She gave me a disapproving look, putting on one of her fake smiles.

"Hello Mrs. Carlin, I was wondering if Spencer needed a ride to school." I forced myself to smile as well, even though my smile wasn't real either. Then she looked victorious.  
"Oh I'm sorry Ashley, but Spencer just left. She got a ride with Aiden." As she said this, my stomach dropped. She was with Aiden. Well that was just fabulous. With a sigh, I looked up at Mrs. Carlin.

"Alright, thanks anyway." I walked away before she could say anything else, and I could feel her staring at my retreating back. I cursed to myself as I climbed back into the car, putting it in drive and continuing on my way to school. I listened to Marilyn Manson on the stereo, putting my windows down and turning the music up. I was feeling scorned. I was jealous because I knew Spencer wanted to figure things out. Of all people, I didn't want her to figure things out with Aiden. Anyone but Aiden.

_Tell me how you've never felt,  
Delicate or innocent.  
Do you still have doubts that,  
us having faith makes any sense._

When I went to my second period class, I knew that Spencer was going to be there. I deliberately took a seat beside of her, and as she got up to change seats, the bell rang.  
"In your seats, class." The teacher bellowed loudly. I could see the annoyance on Spencer's face, and I smiled. Now she couldn't ignore me. Not when I was going to be whispering in her ear the whole class period.  
"I need to talk to you." I whispered loudly. She turned around, staring at me. She frowned.

"I don't want to get in trouble," She said softly, turning back around again. Just as I was about to tap her on her shoulder, she glanced over at me. "Write me a note, okay? I'll write back, I promise. I just don't want to get in trouble for talking." I gave her a smile when she said this, and she smiled back. I could feel my heart flutter.

Spence-  
I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I know I keep doing that but I really do mean it. If I made you do anything you didn't want to, then I apologize. I wasn't meaning to put you under any pressure. I just want us to be friends again. The past can be the past, okay? Forgive me, please.

I gave her the note, and watched her as she read it. I waited impatiently as she scribbled a response back to me.

Ash-  
You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything. I'm sorry that I took things too far. I led you on and that wasn't right. I want to be friends too.  
Aiden asked me out today...I said yes.

I read her response. I liked it until the end. She was dating Aiden? I felt like throwing up. That was it, I hated him and there was no changing that. Looking up at Spencer for a moment, I wrote a quick response.

S-  
Glad you want to be friends. That's good for you & Aiden by the way.

I handed Spencer the note and laid my head down on the desk. I was beginning to get a headache, and it was probably because thinking of her with anyone else made me physically sick. What was about a thousand times worse was, I was almost certain that Spencer didn't have any feelings for Aiden. I thought she liked me, at least that's what she led me to believe. Did she not realize that I would be jealous? Maybe she was doing this deliberately to MAKE me jealous. Whatever it was, it was working.

I understood her position with trying to figure out her sexuality, but this was just too much to put me through. Not to mention how awful it was if she was using Aiden like that. After all, he used to be my friend. With a silent groan, I closed my eyes; ready to fall asleep so I'd at least not have to think about this any longer.

_Tell me nothing ever counts_

_Lashing out or breaking down_

_Still somebody loses 'cause_

_There's no way to turn around  
_

**Spencer's POV  
**

Earlier that day, Aiden and I had kissed. It was completely by accident. It happened, and then he asked me out. I said yes. He was avery good-looking boy, and a very nice one, but I hated this. Wed only been dating since this morning and I already wanted to break up with him.

The look on Ashley's face when I told her that he and I were dating was such a horrible look. It made me feel awful. I knew that Ashley liked me, and I knew she would get jealous. Maybe I wanted her to get jealous, but I didn't want her to feel hurt. I wasn't sure if she realized exactly what I felt for her or not. I acted so stupid, I doubted she did know. I didn't know why I had to make things so complicated. So I liked a girl. Why did it have to be such a big deal, anyway?

I was glad when Ashley started talking to me again. I was afraid she was mad at me. I'd been pretending I was mad at her, but I was just avoiding her because I was afraid of my feelings. I was still afraid, and I didn't know what to do but hopefully I would figure that out in time. It was frustrating to know that she liked me, and to know that I liked her back. It was frustrating that I couldn't just kiss her and be her girlfriend. The world was a sad place and though people at school might not react too badly, I knew my family wouldn't have the best reaction. Actually, it was mainly my mother and Glen I was worried about. They were the judgmental ones. Especially my mother, she was very religious and I knew she would condemn me for this. It was so scary because I was so desperate for her approval.

As soon as the bell rang for class, I began talking to Ashley. I told her that I was really glad to have her as a friend, and I appreciated her even though I didn't always act like it. I made a mental note to break up with Aiden as soon as I possibly could. I knew he would be angry, but I would rather not keep up this lie for any longer. I felt terrible for lying to him, I felt terrible for lying to Ashley, and I felt even worse about lying to myself. I still wasn't sure what to do about Ashley. I thought I liked her, but I wasn't sure. Maybe it was just the fact that she was gay, and it made me wonder what it would be like if I was.

_Staring at your photograph,_

_Everything now in the past._

_Never felt so lonely I,_

_Wish that you could show me love._


	5. Do You Have A Map, I'm Lost In Your Eyes

"**Do You Have a Map, Because I'm Lost in Your Eyes"  
**

**A/N: Just a note, in this chapter point of views will be switching back and forth, just like the last one (and in all future chapters). Also there is a surprise in store for you guys!  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by Hawthorne Heights.  
**

**Spencer's POV  
**

_And if tomorrow should be the last day I could ever tell you.  
I was in love with your smile, in love with your eyes.  
Tomorrow will be a-okay, just to say I loved you way too much.  
_

I stood in the doorway of my brother's room. His back was facing me, and it looked like he was doing homework. That wouldn't surprise me.  
"Clay?" I called out, voice uncertain. I really needed to talk to him. Well, I needed someone to talk to in general. I didn't want to talk to Ashley, especially since it was about her. I obviously couldn't talk to my mother, and my dad was at work. Clay understood and he never judged, unlike my other brother. Glen was a jerk and I usually couldn't stand him.

Clay turned around, giving me a smile. "Yes?" I walked into his room, taking a seat on his bed. I gazed around the room. It was decorated in dark navy blues, and I thought it was so totally Clay. I looked back to him.  
"Sorry to cut into your 'fun' time, but I kinda need someone to talk to."

"I'm all ears." Clay said his grin widening. I think it made him feel good that I trusted him and was willing to talk to him about personal things like this. I smiled back at him, feeling unsure as I did so. I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to say this.

"Well, you know I'm dating Aiden, as of yesterday anyway. I can't help feeling like it's a mistake. I think he's attractive and everything but I just don't LIKE him, not that way. I'm so confused. I was only dating him to prove something. I don't enjoy kissing him, and I think I have feelings for Ashley." I began, saying the last part quietly. Clay gazed at me thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke.

"Why would you date Aiden if you don't like him? That's stupid, and you're just hurting Ashley by doing that. You DO like Ashley, I know you do. I see the way you look at her," He replied in a teasing voice, wrapping me in a hug. "You have to tell her. And soon."  
"Maybe." I mumbled, feeling unsure. I wasn't used to putting myself out there. Though I liked Ashley, it didn't mean I wanted to throw away everything to be with her. Who even said I wanted to be with her? With a nod, I left Clay's room, returning to the room that had become the wondering room.

_I should have said anything instead of making no sense at all...  
Why was I chasing falling stars instead of you?  
Why was I breaking my own heart instead of embracing yours?  
_

**Ashley's POV  
**

I was sitting at the lunch table minding my own business, when Madison sat down beside of me. She had a smile on her face, one that seemed real, and I couldn't help but be a little afraid.  
"Hey." She greeted casually, and I stared up at her in confusion. Since when did she act civil to me? She and I had been on bad terms for awhile now. That wasn't surprising considering all the things we've been through.  
"Hey, Madison." I replied, putting on a smile as well. I looked at her, noticing she was wearing less makeup than usual. It reminded me of the old days when we used to be really close and she wasn't a stuck up cheerleader snob like she was now.

"Is there something wrong? I noticed that you've been looking a little worn around the eyes lately. Anything you need to talk about?" Madison asked me, sounding sincere. She had a concerned look on her face that made me want to tell her exactly what was bothering me. I don't know what it was, but she seemed different today.

"Yes, actually, but don't freak out. This isn't going to be a surprise to you anyway," I began, biting my lip. I wasn't sure I should tell her; because she had such a big mouth she would probably blab to everyone. "I like Spencer." I said this part under my breath, and I saw the fake shock cross Madison's face.  
"No way." She grinned, setting her hand on top of mine. I nodded, feeling uncomfortable. "Well that's interesting, but you could find someone SO much better than her. She's just a little girl, Ashley. You need someone who can take care of you." She said this in a voice I hadn't heard in a long time. I swallowed roughly, shrugging and pulling my hand away from her grasp.

"I would kiss you right now if my reputation wouldn't be in danger after doing so," Madison said quickly with a mischievous grin. "But I can't. Let me tell you how much I wish I could. Tonight there will be no holding back. Meet me at the park at 11 if you want to." She stood, walking away. I watched her as she walked, sighing to myself. Not this again. We'd already been through this, we'd already had a fling, and I wanted that to stay in the past. Now I had to find a way to break it to her.

**Spencer's POV  
**

I saw Ashley in the hallway later that day, and decided to talk to her. She and I were already speaking again because of yesterday. I wanted to spend some time with her to figure out my feelings, and if I figured them out, I would tell her sooner or later. I strode over to Ashley, waving as I did so.  
"Hey!" I said, stopping in front of her and letting myself relax a little. She gave me a smile in return, and my stomach did a little flutter.  
"Hey, yourself." Ashley replied, sitting against the wall. She pulled herself into an Indian style position, and I sat beside of her. "How has your day been?" She asked me, pulling a powdered donut out of her backpack and taking a bite. I shrugged.

"It's been okay. Yours?" I answered, grabbing the donut out of her hand and taking a bite as well. She looked at me accusingly.

"I was eating that, thank you." Ashley punched me in the arm, and I reacted, screaming 'ouch!' as loud as I could. "Oh, that didn't hurt. Besides, you can eat this stupid donut, I don't care." She paused, biting her lip thoughtfully. "My day has been really lame actually. I can't seem to be able to concentrate on anything." I gazed at her as she said this, wondering what hidden underlying message this statement had. She was probably hinting that she was thinking about me. I knew her feelings for me but I knew that was something I couldn't live up to. I tried not to look her in the eye.

"Why's that?" I questioned in return, bracing myself for her answer. She was typically honest in everything she said, and I was ready for her to mention me. But maybe I was being too self-centered in assuming that.  
"No reason." Ashley stated quickly with a grin. I knew that she was lying, and I was sort of glad she was too. I settled my head onto her shoulder, sighing with happiness.

**Ashley's POV  
**

I felt like screaming with joy. Spencer had her head on my shoulder. I watched as her eyes fluttered shut, and I instinctively pulled my arms around her. Madison walked by, giving me a dirty look. I let Spencer rest there for a moment, then I tapped her on the shoulder. She opened her eyes, looking at me in the most adorable way. She had such big blue eyes, and they were beautiful. I smiled.  
"Time for class," I got up and she followed suit. We parted ways, and I knew I wouldn't see her again until I took her home. The rest of my classes seemed to take forever to pass. By the time they had, I was excited to see Spencer again. I walked into the gymnasium, spotting her on the bleachers. I sat there beside of her. She was listening to her headphones but she didn't hear me because the music was too loud. I lifted the headphones off of her head, putting them on. She protested, but I ignored her, trying to figure out what she was listening to.

"What is this?" I asked her, bobbing my head to the beat. She laughed at me, snatching the headphones back and turning off her CD player.  
"The Giant Drag, they're a pretty good band. The song you were listening to is called Cordial Invitation. Funny isn't it, I'm the one schooling you on music now." Spencer replied with a smile, getting up from the bleachers and dragging me outside with her. I ran past her, towards my car. I opened the door and held it there, waiting for her to get inside. "Oh how gentlemanly of you." She joked, getting inside. I closed the door with a smirk and got into the drivers' seat, starting the car and driving away.

I decided not to drive Spencer home first thing. "I want to show you something," I had said. I drove to a spot that I discovered a few days ago, stopping the car and getting out. She followed me, wondering what I was taking her to see. It was a building. One side of it was painted completely white, and people had painted on it. It was a beautiful collage of art, a showcase to the unknown artists of LA. I loved it because there was no way of knowing who painted this, and it was a romantic thought to think about it. They could be anyone you know, and that wass the beauty of it. You don't know, but yet you could see things through their eyes. I felt like that wall helped me get to know people that I would have never met. I wanted to paint something on it, but I never came up with an idea good enough for it. One day, I would.

Spencer gazed at the wall in amazement. She laced her fingers in between mine, and I could feel my entire body tingling.

_Why was I chasing falling stars instead of you?  
Why was I breaking my own heart instead of embracing yours?  
_

**Spencer's POV  
**

It might sound stupid, but I was so overcome with emotion when I saw that collage. It was breathtaking, an artistic display in such an ordinary place. I'd seen graffiti before, but this wasn't graffiti. It was ART. I might have gotten a little carried away when I grabbed her hand, but it felt wonderful to do that again. I looked up at her, and she looked at me. I felt my stomach drop. I had to tell her my feelings.

"Ashley, I need to tell you something." I said this urgently, squeezing her hand and leaning up against the wall, pulling her closer to me as I continued. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I keep doing it over and over again. Aiden is my boyfriend," I paused, not sure of what exactly to say next. "But not for much longer. I hate it being like this, I wish people could just accept us."  
"Us?" She interrupted quizzically, shoving her free hand into the pocket of her jeans. "Since when has there been an us?"

"That's not what I mean. I mean us as people. What we are. I'm afraid of their reaction if they know that I'm not-like them. Why do you have to make this so complicated?" I sighed.  
"I like you." As I said this, I let go of her hand.

Ashley laughed, hugging me. "I'm glad. I think it's time I take you home." I nodded as she said this. We got back into her car, and she drove me home. I sat in the passenger seat, staring over at her. We shared a smile, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed. I got out of the car, walking up to my front door, and going inside. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time. I must say, it felt nice.

_Just remember, to save me one last dance.  
And please try to close your eyes._

**Ashley's POV  
**

I wasn't at all excited about tonight, but I had to do something. I couldn't just blow her off because that would give her a reason to be even crueler. I took a deep breath, pulling my car into the park. I checked my watch. It was 10:54. I turned off the car, and as soon as I got out of it, I saw Madison. She was sitting on the hood of her own car, giant grin on her face. She came towards me, capturing me in a hug. I wrenched myself away from her grasp and looked at her for a moment. Her eyes looked so hopeful. I didn't want to hurt her. I wasn't sure if it was possible to hurt Madison, but she seemed a lot more human every day.

"Hey you," She purred, pulling me up onto the hood of her car. She kissed me, a shallow kiss, and I didn't resist. I pushed my lips up against hers. I didn't feel anything at all, but I didn't know what else to do.  
"Wait." I protested, and she looked at me murderously. "I can't do this. Madison, I'm sorry. You and I had a thing awhile back. If you still wanted me, you shouldn't have broken it off. That was your decision. I don't go for secret relationships, and besides, I'm not into you at all. I like Spencer. I told you that. I hope you understand." I stood up, and began to walk away. She grabbed my arm, and I could tell she was trying not to cry.

"Okay, I get it. You don't want to be with me." Madison said quietly, getting into her own car. We both left, and I was glad I'd gotten it over with.

_Just remember, to save me one last dance.  
And please try to close your... eyes.  
_

**A/N: It took me two class periods to finish this, so I hope you like it. There was a lot of interesting things happening in this chapter, and the next chapter isn't any different! Review please, I'd love to hear your feedback.**


	6. New American Classic

"**New American Classic"**

**A/N: This chapter switches from Spencer's POV to Aiden's, as well as Ashley's.  
**

**Disclaimer: The lyrics by Taking Back Sunday.  
**

**Spencer's POV  
**

_"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."  
We could live through these letters or forget it all together.  
See the months they don't matter, it's the days I can't take,  
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away.  
_

The next day at school, I knew I had to break up with Aiden. He'd want a reason why and I would tell him the truth. I figured that he might decide to be nice and not let out my secret. At least that's what I was depending on. I was definitely worried.  
"Hey Spence." He came towards me, eyes gleaming. He grabbed my hands, giving me a quick peck on the lips. I feigned a smile, pondering exactly how I was going to tell him.

"Aiden, I have something I want to talk to you about." I urged, looking into his eyes. He nodded, grinning widely. He kissed my hands.  
"That's fine, but not right now. I need to get to class. We'll talk second period." He winked, letting go of my hands and heading off to class. Ashley walked up to me as he left, huge smirk present on her face.

"He took that well," She teased. She knew I hadn't told him yet, and her hazel eyes were mocking me. She dropped her voice. "I can't wait for you and I to be together, finally. We deserve it." She paused, looking at me. "Let's get to class." We went to first period, and it flew by. It figured that it only went fast when I didn't want it to. As I walked to my next class, I felt anxious. I took a seat beside Aiden, who seemed glad to see me. I was to know he was going to be upset with me soon. I just hoped I wouldn't lose his friendship, because I really valued that.

"Aiden, I can't date you anymore." I blurted out, just to get it over with. He looked shocked, then he laughed. Oh god, he thought I was kidding.  
"You're joking, right?" He narrowed his gaze, running a nervous hand through his dark hair. I didn't want to meet his eyes.  
"No, I'm not joking." I replied, leaning back into my chair. He stared at me for a moment, forehead crinkled.

"It's Ashley, isn't it?" He asked, voice heavy with disappointment. When I nodded, he hit his desk in frustration. "Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?" I heard him mutter under his breath. With a sigh, I looked towards the window. I was beginning to feel terrible already, and I knew it was only going to get worse.

**Aiden's POV**_  
_

_Just ask the question, come untie the knot.  
Say you won't care, say you won't care.  
Retrace the steps as if we forgot.  
Say you won't care, say you won't care.  
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt,  
and there's one thing I can do nothing about.  
_

I was half expecting her to break up with me. She didn't seem that into me to begin with, but I was hoping that would pass. It didn't. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Two of my ex girlfriends turned gay. And another one I hadn't told anyone about. That was not a good sign, to say the least.

I knew that Ashley liked Spencer, and I also knew that Spencer was confused, but I didn't think anything would happen between them. I didn't think Spencer had a thing for her. It seemed she figured things out since that almost kiss between her and Ashley. I couldn't help being a little angry. After all, she strung me along like some love puppet and it made me feel pathetic. I didn't blame her, though. Ashley was a beautiful girl.

At basketball practice, I was still feeling a little bent out of shape. I was playing hard, and then it happened. The jerk came up to me, smirk on his face. He looked thoroughly amused. I was going to wipe that grin right off of his cocky face.

"I heard my sister dumped your sorry ass." Glen said, in extreme distaste. He laughed, throwing the ball at me. I grabbed it, bouncing it as hard as I could.

"You don't know the whole story, Glenny boy. You missed the part where your sister is into girls. That's right." I said quickly, and Glen laughed at me.

"You're making that up," He paused, looking up at me as if he wanted me to confirm that I was pulling his leg. I raised my eyebrows.  
"I'm not." I said simply, making my way into the locker room. He stood there, a look of shock on his face. I probably shouldn't have told him that, but I was upset and it just came out. I knew Spencer was going to get the third degree from her brother and I felt a little sorry for that. After all, Spencer was my friend even though she did this to me. I felt angrier towards Ashley, actually. I decided to give her a talking to.

I approached her at lunch, when I saw that she was alone. I knew we were going to get into a fight, no doubt about that.  
"Ashley, I need to fucking talk to you. Now." I took a step forward as I said this, standing up straight and looking her in the eye.

**Ashley's POV  
**

_If chasing our dreams is just a distraction,  
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back_.

"You're such a drama queen," I practically laughed in his face when walked up to me, trying to look all macho. Like I was intimidated. It was almost like he wanted to hit me. That much made me laugh. I didn't believe boys should ever hit girls and anyway, I'd taken loads of martial arts & self defense classes. So I could definitely take him. I knew that Spencer had broken up with him, because she told me, and it didn't surprise me that he was seeking me out. He would at least yell at me in front of everyone in school, which wouldn't bother me one bit. It would just make him look like an idiot.

"Go ahead and say whatever it is you wanna say." I challenged, clenching my teeth and gazing up at him. I wanted to hear this.

"You're just a spiteful bitch. You stole my girlfriend. This has just gone too far," He glared at me, pausing for a moment. I couldn't help thinkinf all of this was very out of character for him. I knew it was because he was upset, and his pride was hurt. "But you know what? I don't even care. Spencer is no loss anyway. I've got plenty of girls willing to be with me." He said this snidely, and I just looked at him. I'd never heard him say something so uncaring. It made me angry that he'd say that about Spencer. He was wrong. She was a huge loss on his part, and well, a huge gain on mine.

"Oh yeah? It seems I've got plenty of girls wanting me as well. But I chose HER." I grinned, turning around and getting ready to walk away. He spun me back around.

"I accidentally might have let something slip to dear brother Glen. So don't be surprised if things start growing worse for your little girlfriend." As soon as those words escaped his mouth, I punched him as hard as I possibly could. He fell backwards, dropping onto the floor, nose bleeding. Looking down at him, I walked away. I didn't want a fight in the first place, and I didn't want to hurt him, but it really pissed me off that he went and told Glen.

I had to warn Spencer. She was not going to be happy. Knowing Glen, he was probably going to have quite a talk with Spencer. Hopefully, he wouldn't have that same talk with Mrs. Carlin as well, or there would be some serious drama going on in their household. I knew that she wouldn't react well to the news. Clay already knew, and he didn't react badly at all. Then again, he was the least judgmental of the entire family. I didn't know Mr. Carlin very well, so I wasn't sure what he would think of the whole situation. All I knew was, Spencer needed to shut Glen up before he could say something to anybody else. There was no way she was ready for everyone to know yet.

_Just ask the question, come untie the knot.  
Say you won't care, say you won't care.  
Retrace the steps as if we forgot.  
Say you won't care, say you won't care.  
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt,  
There's one thing I can do nothing about.  
_

**A/N: Sorry the chapter was a little short. Review and let me know what you think of the story so far!**


	7. Crown of Love

"**Crown of Love"  
**

**A/N: Sorry these new updates are shorter than the others.  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by The Arcade Fire.  
**

**Spencer's POV  
**

_They say it fades if you let it, love was made to forget it.  
I carved your name across my eyelids, you pray for rain I pray for blindness.  
If you still want me, please forgive me, the crown of love is not upon me.  
If you still want me, please forgive me, because the spark is not within me.**  
**_

Ashley told me that day on the phone about what Aiden said to her. She also described the rest of their conversation, including her surge of anger. I was extremely worried when she said that Aiden had let something slip to Glen. Apparently he'd said that I liked girls. I did, but I didn't need Glen knowing that. I knew he was going to have a talk with me sooner or later, and I needed to think of something to say. Before I could think of anything, Glen came into my room. He was red-faced, running his hands through his hair repeatedly. He tended to do that when he was upset about something. He sat down on the bed, looking at me. I was sitting at the desk.

"I heard a rumor today, and I wanted to ask you if there was any truth to it." Glen said carefully, staring at me. I gazed back at him, shrugging my shoulders.  
"What did you hear?" I asked, playing dumb. I leaned back into my chair, crossing my legs and waiting for him to answer.

"I heard that you're into girls now. Tell me that isn't true." He replied quickly, eyes begging me. It was like it would be terrible for me to be gay. Like it would burden him socially, and he couldn't have that. I swallowed roughly.

"Rumors are rumors, Glen." That statement wasn't saying anything in particular. That way I wasn't flat out denying it, or confirming it either. Glen got up, frustrated.

"Give me a straight answer." He urged, face turning redder by the minute. He shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning up against the wall of my bedroom. I sighed. I didn't want to do this. Not right now.

**Glen's POV  
**

Needless to say, I was feeling a little impatient. When Aiden told me that Spencer was gay, I didn't believe him. But she had been spending a lot more time with Ashley lately, and she _had_ dated Aiden. Aiden seemed like the transition guy between straight and gay after what had happened with him and Ashley, and a few other girls. I was hoping that it was all rumor, because otherwise, well, I didn't want to think about it. Spencer was my sister. There were never any 'signs' that she was gay growing up, and I didn't think there was any way she could possibly be gay. But I could've been wrong. I hoped to God I wasn't.

I was waiting for her to give me an answer. I needed an answer so I could figure out what to do. If she was gay, well, I'd have to keep it quiet at school. I wouldn't want everyone finding out. That would do some major damage to my reputation. I would probably tell mom, and let her deal with it. I know she wouldn't be happy.

"A straight answer? Ashley Davies is in love with me. Madly, deeply in love with me to the point of obsession. You've seen the way she looks at me." Spencer answered. I stared at her in shock.  
"Do you like her?" I questioned, walking closer. She shook her head. She didn't like her.

"I don't feel anything for her." Spencer confirmed quietly. I gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment. I couldn't tell if she was lying. I nodded, walking out of her room. Clay went in after me, and I saw the door shut. I went to my room, lying down on my bed and staring up at the ceiling. I was never really much of a feelings type of guy. Clay, though, he was good with that other stuff. I was glad he was our brother, because it gave Spencer someone to talk to sometimes. If she ever tried to talk to me about her feelings, well, I'd probably end up barfing. I don't want to hear any of that kind of stuff about my sister, at all.

I had to admit I was shallow, but I liked it that way. I didn't have a wide range of emotions. I was either pissed off or in a really good mood. I didn't get depressed all that often. Getting depressed just got in the way. My mom told me that I didn't cry when I was a baby. I screamed a lot, but that was about it. I've always been this way. But this Spencer crap was really making me think. I didn't like that. I didn't like wondering about my sister's sexuality. For one thing, it wasn't normal, at all. Not for her. When it came to Ashley, it made her about a thousand times hotter. Picturing her and my sister together? Interesting to say the least. But still. Part of me wanted my sister to be happy, but the other part didn't want her to be something so..I couldn't even find the word.

**Spencer's POV  
**

_I snuffed it out before my mom walked in my bedroom.  
The only thing that you keep changin' is your name.  
My love keeps growin' still the same, just like cancer,  
and you won't give me a straight answer!  
_

My conversation with Glen was the most uncomfortable conversation of my life. I felt horribly guilty for lying to him about my feelings. It's not that I felt bad for lying to Glen, it's that I felt bad for denying something I had taken so long to realize. I wish I could have shouted it out to the world. But the world is someplace scary, a place where the people who don't fit into the cookie cutter get cast out, marked as wrong somehow. I used to be pretty religious, like my mother, and I was glad things changed since then. I was more open-minded now, and I realized that nothing like that matters. Race, sexual orientation, wealth. None of it matters in the end, we're all just people. It took Ashley for me to realize that. That was something powerful, and I wanted to share it with everyone. But I was such a coward that I couldn't, and I denied something so true to me.

I was glad when Clay came in the room. He always managed to make me feel better. He already knew my problem, and he helped me realize I liked Ashley in the first place. Now I was going to explain to him what had just happened, and ask him for advice. He always gave such good advice and I knew whatever he was going to say would help me.

"What's going on?" He began, concerned. He knew that Glen didn't come into my room often, and he recognized the look of disappointment on my face.

"Well, you remember how you told me that I liked Ashley? You were right. I really like her a lot, and she really likes me. But I'm afraid. Glen just asked me if I was gay, and I told him I wasn't. I lied. I told him that I didn't feel anything towards Ashley. Now he's probably going to go talk to her and tell her to stay away from me, and she's going to find out that I denied it all. She's going to hate me and I'm going to lose everything." That's when I started to break down. Tears rolled down my face.

I didn't want to lose Ashley, not now, not ever. She was the most important person in my life. She made me laugh, she made me cry, she made me want to run away with her. Every second when I was around her, I didn't want to be anywhere else. How could I say any different? Why was I so afraid to admit my feelings?

"Calm down, Spence. I'm glad you guys like each other. It's perfectly normal to be afraid at first. It has to be that way for awhile. You don't have to admit to anything until you're ready. Ashley's been through this. She'll understand. Just make sure you talk to her before Glen does."He said in a calm voice. He sat down beside of me, wiping my tears away. "I swear, you get worked up over everything." He smiled and I let my head fall onto his shoulder, leaning into it.

"Maybe you're right. How do you know so much about this? Are you harboring some similar secret or something?" When I said this, he laughed.

"Not at all. I read some of dad's books." He pulled me into a hug and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "Well good luck, kid." He left, leaving me there alone with my thoughts. I picked up the phone, dialing Ashley's number. I was going to take Clay's advice and tell her before Glen could get the chance to.  
_  
The pains of love, and they keep growin', in my heart there's flowers  
Growin' on the grave of our old love, since you gave me a straight answer.  
_

"Hey Ash. I talked to Glen." I said this as soon as she picked up. I wanted to hurry up and get it all over with. Hopefully she wouldn't be upset.  
"Oh yeah? How'd that go?" She asked, sounding genuinely interested. Of course she was interested. Who wouldn't be? I jumped onto my bed, cuddling up under the covers before I continued, trying to comfort myself.  
"Interestingly. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I kind of freaked when he asked me if I was gay and I kinda ended up denying it. I'm going to set him straight, though. As soon as I'm ready to. Which I think will be sort of soon." I answered quickly.  
"You denied it? What did you say to him, then?" Ashley asked me.

"I told him you were in love with me. I also may have said I have no feelings whatsoever for you. Which is a lie. Like I said, I'm going to tell him. I just didn't react well when he asked me and I hope you're not mad at me."

"I'm not mad." Ashley replied slowly. She was silent for a moment. "I'm coming over. I'll be there in a little bit." She hung up before I could say anything else.

_You gotta be the one, you gotta be the way.  
Your name is the only word, the only word that I can say!  
_

**A/N: Only 3 more updates left in this thing and I'll be done! **


	8. First Day of My Life

"**First Day of My Life"  
**

**A/N: I was listening to this song the other day, and I've heard it about a million times, but it struck me different that day. It became about a thousand times more beautiful, and I thought it appropriate for this.  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by Bright Eyes.  
**

**Ashley's POV  
**

_This is the first day of my life.  
I swear I was born right in the doorway.  
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed,  
They're spreading blankets on the beach.  
_

I had to see her. I wasn't angry at all. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes. I'd been sitting home alone, and was starting to go crazy. I was glad she called me and now I was on my way over. I planned to spend the night if I was lucky, but I wasn't going to go too far with Spencer this time. I didn't want things to be that intense until everything was good between us. Standing at the front door, I hesitated. I stared at the door for a moment, and then knocked. Who answered it? None other than Glen.

"Oh, hello Ashley," he had a knowing smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, pushing past him and making my way upstairs. I walked into Spencer's room, shutting the door behind me. I locked it, too. That way Mrs. Carlin couldn't make me sleep on the couch. I just needed a night to be near Spencer. With a smile, I wrapped my arms around my friend.

"I'm glad you came." She said softly, pulling me close to her. She smelled like strawberries.  
"I am too." I replied, sitting up and letting go of her. I smiled, gazing into her blue eyes. I took her hands in mine, holding them tightly. "You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, Spencer. I can't wait until all of this clears up and you can be my girlfriend. I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you in public. I want you all to myself."

"I promise you, that will happen." Spencer whispered, running her thumb over my lips. I nodded, leaning forward. Our lips met, and I closed my eyes, a feeling of calm rushing over me. "I will be yours, forever."

As the kiss ended, I rose up from the bed. I turned off the light, and settled back in the bed, pulling Spencer to me. She leaned against me, the covers up around us. I felt her give me a kiss on the cheek, and both of us settled off to sleep. It was a peaceful feeling. I knew that coming here was a good idea.

**Spencer's POV  
**

_Yours is the first face that I saw.  
I think I was blind before I met you.  
Now I don't know where I am,  
I don't know where I've been,  
But I know where I want to go_.

"I love you," I whispered it softly into Ashley's ear as she slept. I was practically ecstatic to have her here with me, but I also knew that for things to become even better, I had to come clean. I gazed at my alarm clock. It was about five in the morning now, and it was Saturday. I'd have to wait until Monday to do what I was planning, but the wait would be worth it. Then it would all fall into place. I did love her. I knew this because she made me feel like myself.

She was the only person I'd ever met that made me feel this way about myself. It was almost like she helped me forget about everything that wasn't important, and helped me see what truly was. She had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, and made more mistakes than I could count. Her imperfections were what I loved the most. Every scar, every tear made me believe that she was so strong. I was amazed that she went through all the things she did.

I often compared myself to her. I felt shallow, and I felt like I couldn't compare. She helped me fix those things in myself. She helped me be more confident with who I was. Our family lives were extraordinarily different. I lived in a so-called "happy" household, one that she referred to as the Brady Bunch. She was right, sort of. It was perfect in Ohio, but when we moved to LA, things changed. They had to change. Now, my parents weren't getting along as well as they used to. Glen was becoming more of a jerk. Clay was getting hassled and being so confused about his origin. Then there was me, not knowing where to turn. I realized it now, because of her, that I was gay. I also realized that my mother believed that was wrong. I was afraid because I knew I'd have to tell her eventually. She was going to be the last to know.

Ashley's home life was less than perfect. Her parents were divorced. Her father was a rock star who was never around, and when he was, all he did was disappoint her. She wanted more than anything to be accepted by her parents, and loved, and she wanted attention to be paid to her. But it never failed. She was always ignored. Especially by her mother. She put her down constantly, and was parading around with dozens of men. There was a new guy practically every day.

Ashley had grown accustomed to that. I didn't believe anyone should get used to that. I knew Ashley better than she knew herself. I studied her almost, trying to figure her out. I knew that she had to get attention whenever she could. She got the attention at school, the only place she could get it. Getting attention that way only led to her being more of an outcast. She said she liked it that way, but I wasn't so sure. I admired her as a person. I admired her as a friend. And I admired her as someone who was madly in love with her.

**Ashley's POV  
**

_And so I thought I'd let you know,  
That these things take forever,  
I especially am slow.  
But I realize that I need you,  
And I wondered if I could come home.  
_

When I woke up, I noticed Spencer was awake. She was also staring at me. I groaned, ducking my head under the covers.  
"Don't stare at me, it's creepy and besides, I look terrible." I didn't want her to see me looking like this, with my hair all messed up and everything. I peeked out at her. She was adorable, dressed in pajamas. So innocent-looking. She pulled the covers off of me, pinning me to the bed.

"You look great." Spencer argued, kissing me on the forehead. She got up from the bed, pulling me up with her. "Time for breakfast."  
"Breakfast with the Bradys?" I questioned, biting my lip. I grabbed Spencer's hairbrush, making my hair look at least halfway decent. She dragged me downstairs. I didn't want to go down there. I didn't want to face her family, especially after I'd spent the night. I was terrified of her mother. I was mostly worried that Glen would say something in front of her. I sat at the table, staring at the eggs and bacon in front of me.

"Good morning." It was Spencer's dad. He had a smile on his face as he handed me a glass of orange juice. Clay was sitting at the table, and Spencer took a seat beside of me. Clay looked at us and grinned.  
"Where's your mom?" I asked Spencer, wondering. Maybe she was still upstairs. Or if I was lucky, she wasn't here at all. I prayed that it was the last one.  
"She had to go to work early." Mr. Carlin explained, taking a seat at the table. I nodded, feeling a lot more comfortable.

I really liked Spencer's family. I liked about half of her family, anyway. If Glen and Mrs. Carlin would just disappear, it would be wonderful. Mr. Carlin was so nice and he seemed to be a really good dad from what Spencer told me. I was jealous of her family. I wished my dad was that great. I wish he made me breakfast in the morning. Actually, I just wish he lived at my house, and my parents were still together. But that wouldn't happen. I had to spend so many nights alone. My mom went out of town at random points in time and she slept with men at their houses constantly. She didn't bring guys home that often, which I was pretty thankful for. I just wanted a normal family. Like Spencer's.

After breakfast Spencer, Clay, and I went into the living room to watch TV. Mr. Carlin went upstairs to get ready for work. I leaned back on the couch, staring at the cartoon that we were watching. It was some weird kids' cartoon about a coconut living on an island with a bunch of fruits. It was pretty funny. Spencer and I were laughing our heads off as her dad came back downstairs, dressed and ready to go. He gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek, and Clay a pat on the back. I was beginning to wonder where Glen was.

**Spencer's POV  
**

_You said, "this is the first day of my life  
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.  
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you,  
And I'd probably be happy."  
_

"Where's Glen?" Ashley asked me as we were watching Saturday morning cartoons. I shared a knowing glance with Clay, laughing.  
"He doesn't typically get up until past noon." I explained.

"He and I actually have something in common. Oh god," She looked at the both of us in horror, which made me laugh harder. "Think you could walk me home, Spence?"

"What about your car?" I replied, not taking my eyes off of the TV. She pushed me off of the couch, tickling me as she did so.

"I didn't drive here, I walked. I felt like a walk last night." Ashley answered, still tickling me. I tried to fight her off, but it didn't work. I felt Clay watching us. He was grinning widely. I think he saw the chemistry between Ashley and I. Even when we were being silly, I really did love her.

"Will you please STOP?" I squealed. She lifted her hands in the air, surrendering. "I'll walk with you." Ashley smiled, pulling me up from the floor. With a wave to Clay, we went out the door.

It was nice outside. The sun was out and it was warm. The air smelled moist, like rain. It reminded me of Ohio. When I lived there, it rained all the time. California was so different. It was practically hot all the time. It was beautiful, but sometimes I missed the rain. I missed the feeling of the droplets gathering on my face, and I missed running around outside during a storm. California was nothing but hot air, usually. I hadn't even experienced an earthquake yet. I couldn't say I was eager to. I casually took Ashley's hand in mine as we walked. She smiled, squeezing it and looking at me. God, she was so beautiful. I smiled back at her.

**Ashley's POV  
**

I was sad when I realized I was standing in front of my house. I stopped and turned around, facing Spencer. I wanted to kiss her, right then and there, but I was afraid someone she knew would drive by. I simply gazed at her for a moment. I brushed a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes, and then hugged her.

"Thank you for this." I said softly, loving the warmth of her body against mine. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.  
"It's no problem." Spencer said this and began to walk away. I stood there, watching her until she became a tiny dot in the distance. I found my way to my front porch. I sat on the step, looking up at the sky. **For the first time in my life**, I felt happy. Spencer wasn't my girlfriend yet, but I was so in love with her, I knew it was only a matter of time.

_So if you want to be with me,  
With these things there's no telling,  
We just have to wait and see.  
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,  
Than waiting to win the lottery.  
Besides maybe this time is different,  
I mean I really think you like me._


	9. Extraordinary Machine

"**Extraordinary Machine"  
**

**A/N: So sorry I haven't updated in the longest time. I've been putting this story off, because I don't want it to end and I've also been lacking inspiration. Dramatic chapter with lots of POV switches!  
**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by Fiona Apple.  
**

**Ashley's POV  
**

_I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes.  
-And-  
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around.  
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,  
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so  
I can't stop changing all the time.  
_

It was Monday. I was minding my own business, sitting in the hallway after school. I didn't feel like going home just yet, so I hadn't. I pulled my legs against my body, closing my eyes. I felt myself fall into a peaceful state of being. The school was mostly quiet, only the sound of basketballs bouncing in the gym nearby. I wasn't happy when I heard footsteps heading my way. I opened my eyes quickly, gazing up. There stood Glen Carlin, smirk finding its way to his face. I rolled my eyes.

"What do YOU want?" I asked him, standing up to meet his gaze. He stood there for a moment, as if considering.

"I think you're pathetic." He said coolly, turning around and getting ready to walk away. I grabbed him by the arm, spinning him back around to face me. He was definitely not going to walk away while I was speaking to him.

"How am I pathetic? Because standing here, right now, I only see one pathetic person. And it isn't me." I stepped closer to him, heat rising off of my face. Glen made me angrier than almost anyone ever had. Madison was the only person who could get a bigger rise out of me. I probably hated him so much because he was full of himself, and he treated Spencer poorly. I knew he probably wouldn't accept her sexuality if he knew, and that bothered me. That's the reason why she had lied to him. I was a bit uncomfortable with the lie she had told him, because now everyone was assuming I was obsessed with Spencer. I wasn't really, and even if I was, it was a mutual obsession. I got twice as many stares in the hallways now, and endless comments were made regarding the matter. It made me look bad, and usually I wouldn't care, but I was getting pretty sick of it. Now here Glen was, saying I was pathetic? He had no right to do that.

"You are so out of your league. Why must you insist on stalking straight girls? Ashley, you'd have more luck if you stuck to your kind." The way he said this struck me in the wrong way. I shook my head in disbelief.

"My kind? Glen, you don't know anything about me, and you don't know anything about your sister. So why don't you back off?" I clenched teeth, pushing him lightly and grabbing my backpack. I slung it over my shoulder, walking out the front door. I felt his eyes on me as I walked, and I didn't enjoy the feeling. I decided to get into my car and go to the mall. At least then I could get my mind off of everything.

_He's no good at being uncomfortable, so  
He can't stop staying exactly the same.  
_

**Glen's POV  
**

When I saw Ashley leave, I stepped back into the gym. I was feeling more annoyed than ever. I didn't understand why the girl was being so persistent. I didn't understand why she had this fixation on my sister. It was creepy. Spencer just put up with it, and Spencer was her friend. I think she felt sorry for her, because Ashley didn't have any other friends. Whatever the case was, she truly was pathetic.

I grabbed the ball, dribbling it and then taking a shot from the three-point line. I missed, letting out an annoyed groan.  
"You're a little off your game today, aren't you?" I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around, face-to-face with Aiden. He and I didn't get along very well, but it seemed now that we had a lot in common, and we were friends. Well, sort of. I nodded, throwing the ball and taking a seat on the bleachers. He sat down beside of me, running his hands through his brown hair.

"Dude, practice ended 15 minutes ago. Why don't you head home?" I glanced at him for a moment. He shrugged. "I know, I haven't left yet either. It's just; I've been practicing a lot more lately because I've been thrown off for awhile. I think you know that, being the new star and all. Anyway, what's bothering you?"

I sighed. I wasn't one to share my problems. I hated doing so, but I didn't have problems often so I decided to let go and tell him what was going on.

"You know Ashley, your ex girlfriend? She's trying to convert my little sister to her team and well, I'm not too happy about it. Spencer says that Ashley's like obsessed with her or whatever. I just wish she'd leave her alone. Spencer's normal. Ashley needs to just realize that." Aiden let out a laugh as I said this, standing up. I stood up as well, grabbing the ball. We began to play a one-on-one game. A few minutes into the game, he stopped dribbling and looked my way.

"They almost kissed, you know." He said this, and it was my turn to laugh. That sounded crazy to me. Spencer was straight. Spencer didn't like girls.  
"Sure they did." I blocked him when he attempted to shoot, getting the rebound and shooting back to the other side of the court. I made my shot, and he patted me on the back.

"Denial is nobody's friend."

**Ashley's POV  
**

_If there was a better way to go then it would find me.  
I can't help it; the road just rolls out behind me.  
Be kind to me, or treat me mean.  
I'll make the most of it; I'm an extraordinary machine.  
_

I went into Hot Topic. It was starting to be one of my favorite stores. I walked around for awhile, just browsing. I picked out a few random items. A rainbow belt, a keychain with a funny saying on it, and a cool pair of boots. I walked up to the counter and the cashier rung me up. I had once considered going goth. It would have been an interesting look for me. But it was a huge investment, difficult to do, and well, it would have given the kids at school license to mock me even more. I liked being a nonconformist, yes, but I didn't want to be too looked down on. Besides, I think the whole goth thing is overrated. It's not like it's nonconformity because there are so many people making the same 'statement'. It's all a little silly.

Grabbing my bags, I walked out the door. I wasn't watching where I was going and ran straight into Madison, who had been walking by. She scoffed, looking at me with disgust on her face.  
"Sorry." I muttered, picking up the stuff I had dropped. She stood there, watching me.

"I still can't believe you denied me." Madison replied, stepping closer to me. I could feel her warm breath on my face. She stared into my eyes, and I unconsciously shivered. "You know, that Spencer girl isn't worth it. All you're doing is becoming even more of an outcast. I'm sure you don't want that." She said false-sweetly. I shrugged.

"I'd rather be an outcast than be with you. End of story. Madison, you're lower than low. Okay? Been there, done that, never going there again. It may have been exciting at the time, but there is nothing there, nothing real between us, and unfortunately I need something real. I need something, and I see that something in Spencer." I waved her away, not wanting to talk to her anymore. I was just so sick of everyone else. I wanted to be left alone. I knew I had to go home to get any real peace.

**Madison's POV  
**

"You'll regret it!" I called after her. This was starting to drive me crazy. Ashley was the only girl I'd ever found myself attracted to. Our relationship, if you wanted to call it that, happened awhile ago. We were both at a party and got a little too drunk. You could guess where it went from there. Anyway, we dated secretly for awhile but then we broke up because it was a little much for both of us. I'd always had such a fixation on her, and that still hadn't disappeared.

She was the opposite of me in all ways. She wasn't really involved in anything at school, and she liked to keep to herself. She was weird. I liked that in her for some reason. The only thing we seemed to have in common was the need for attention and the fact that we were both seen has being hot. I didn't want to date her, but seeing her around Spencer made me so jealous. I didn't know what it was, but I felt so possessive. I wanted Ashley to be with me so she couldn't be with anyone else. I wasn't interested in a real relationship at all. She and I never did have a great relationship. Just a lot of carnal feelings we felt deep in our gut. Simple instinct we couldn't get over. I know I still hadn't got over it, but I wasn't sure about Ashley. She said she didn't feel anything for me. I was hoping that she was lying.

Anger came over me. I pulled out my credit card, ready for some intense retail therapy. It was a good thing I came from a rich family, because shopping was the only way I could make myself feel better. So I went shopping a lot.

Even shopping didn't help get my mind off of Ashley. Staring at the beautiful shoes in front of me, I sighed. Why did she make me feel this way? It didn't make any sense.

**Ashley's POV  
**

I was home. Finally. I slipped into my warm bed, pulling the covers up over me. I turned on my IPod, putting in the headphones. I closed my eyes, and listened. It was good music. I always loved music, because it was so soothing to me. Ever since I was a little girl I would sing, and listen to whatever I could get my hands on. That came from my father. He used to sing me to sleep all the time. Nothing compared to the sound of his voice.

Now as a teenager, I strived to discover all sorts of new artists. I bought more CDs than I could listen to, and it seemed I was constantly listening to music. My newest favorite was what I was listening to right now. The band was called Azure Ray, and it was the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

Brilliant vocals filled my ears. Their lyrics were astounding. Seriously, the first time I heard them I was enchanted. They changed my life with just two lines. A couple more, and I was hooked. They changed my life.

A lot of Azure Ray's music reminded me of Spencer. This song was called _Displaced_, and it fit all of my feelings perfectly. I smiled to myself, turning off the IPod and picking up my cell phone. I called Spencer, desperately wanting to hear her voice.

**Spencer's POV  
**

_I am the baby of the family, it happens, so  
Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes,  
While they chaperone.  
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease,  
Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your mind at ease.  
_

I was excited when the phone rang. It was Ashley. I hadn't talked to her all day. She seemed focused on other things, and I was afraid she was mad at me. Glen told me about the talk they had, and it was bothering me. I thought maybe what he said had gotten to her. She knew how I felt about her, I hoped so at least, and she hadn't said anything to my brother. I was thankful for that, but I felt terrible. It felt like living a lie. I wanted to be able to come clean and just be happy. I knew I would do it soon.

"I'm glad you called." I admitted, leaning back onto my bed, letting a smile find it's way onto my face. I'd missed her, a lot. I could almost hear her smile in response.  
"So am I. How was your day?"

"Pretty good, I guess." Both of us were silent for a moment. I liked the silence. The cool thing about Ashley and I was the fact that we didn't have to fill the silence. We were perfectly okay with it. We both often got lost in our own thoughts and dreams, and it didn't matter. We were so in tune with each other, sometimes we didn't even have to speak. It was so cliché but it was so true. She was my best friend. I was falling in love with her, and it was scary.

But somehow oddly familiar.

Tomorrow. I would tell them all tomorrow. I wasn't sure how Glen was going to react but I knew I had to do it sooner or later, and sooner was better than later. I was going to hold off on telling my parents for awhile, and hope Glen was nice enough not to say anything.

_Do I so worry you; you need to hurry to my side?  
It's very kind.  
But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail.  
I promise you, everything will be just fine.  
_

_If there was a better way to go then it would find me.  
I can't help it; the road just rolls out behind me.  
Be kind to me, or treat me mean.  
I'll make the most of it; _**I'm an extraordinary machine.  
**

**A/N: Only one more chapter, then the end.**


	10. All About Us

**"All About Us"**

**A/N: It's been WAY too long! I was planning on finishing this sometime next week but I got a burst of SON inspiration...I'm glad to finally be wrapping this one up. Also, I'm going to start editing previous chapters because there are quite a few things I want to change right now. I want to start another Spashley story (maybe even a sequel) sometime in the future so be looking out for that. Thanks to all my readers.**

**Disclaimer: Lyrics by t.A.T.u.**

**Spencer's POV**

_They say they don't trust,  
You, me, we, us.  
So we'll fall if we must,  
Cause it's you, me,  
And it's all about,  
It's all about us._

"Glen? Could you give me a ride to school today?" I asked my brother, taking a seat beside of him at the kitchen table. He shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth, giving me a weird look.  
"Can't Ashley drive you?" He sounded annoyed, picking up his glass of orange juice and taking a drink. I frowned. I needed him to give me a ride so I could talk to him. There was no way I was going to talk to him here and risk my parents finding out about Ashley and I. I wasn't so worried about my father, actually. I was more worried about the reaction my mother would have.

"No, her car's in the shop. Please? I don't want to walk." I begged him, clasping my hands together so tightly that it hurt. He had to agree. I had to tell him. If I didn't do it now while I had the courage, I might never tell him, or anyone. I didn't want it to be that way.

"Okay, fine. But if you're coming with me then we're leaving right now." Glen stood, grabbing his backpack sitting by the table and slinging it over his shoulder. He picked up his basketball from the floor and made his way to the front door. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, and hesitantly followed him, my stomach twisting itself into knots. I kept telling myself this wasn't going to be so bad, yet I was still shaking with nervousness. As I took a seat in the passenger side, I watched my brother start the car. When he began to drive, I inhaled deeply, trying to prepare myself for the moment of truth.

"I need to talk to you about something." I told him, struggling to be heard over the blaring radio. I turned the volume down a few notches and Glen swiveled his head around, glaring at me hard.  
"What?" He asked, tightening his grip on the steering wheel and turning his attention back to the road. I fiddled with the strap on my backpack, biting my lip and praying that he wouldn't overreact like he tended to do.

"I lied to you about Ashley. She's not obsessed with me. I was just...scared. This thing, whatever it is, is mutual. I think I'm starting to fall in love with her." I answered, closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the look on his face.

"What?" He sounded surprised, and when I opened my eyes he was staring at me. The look on his face softened and he reached his hand over, patting me on the shoulder. "Jesus, Spence. You could have told me that before. The way I treated Ashley...I didn't realize that you -" He paused, flustered. "I didn't know. If I would have, I wouldn't have said any of those things. You should have told me sooner."  
"You mean you're not mad?" I asked meekly, gazing at him in confusion. Glen's face twisted into a smile as he parked the vehicle in front of the school.

"Not at all. I don't have a right to be mad. It's your life, not mine. And let me tell you something, that girl is hot." He winked, pulling me into a hug. I couldn't help but smile as I put my arms around my brother. It went perfectly, so much better than I had expected. This gave me a burst of courage, and when I stepped out of the car I hurried to Ashley's locker, desperate to see her again. Sure enough there she was, shoving her thick notebook into her backpack. She sounded frustrated and I snuck up behind her, putting my hands over her eyes.

"Guess who."  
"Batman?" She exclaimed jokingly, and I started to laugh as she turned around to face me. She smiled, and at that moment I realized how beautiful she was. It seemed like the only time she smiled was around me...Before I could stop myself, my fingers found her belt loops and I was pulling her closer. Her breath was hot on my face and I hesitated slightly before letting my lips meet hers. Her body relaxed into mine and she looped her arms around my neck, kissing me back. I heard a few whoops and hollers around me, but I didn't pay attention to them. When the kiss ended, Ashley's tell-all eyes were burning into mine. She raised an eyebrow, mentally asking what had come over me. I let go of her, finally taking notice of the small crowd that had formed around us. I laughed uncertainly, my trembling fingers curling over hers. That kiss had been incredible, and I couldn't help feeling happy. Things were going to be great from now on.

"Spence?" Ashley stopped in front of the door to the classroom, taking my hands in hers. I gazed at her, nodding in response. "You're amazing, you know." I smiled at that, squeezing her hands tightly. God, why was she so perfect?

"So are you." I replied, pulling my arms around her and giving her another kiss on the lips. She slowly untangled herself from my arms, walking into her first period class. I noticed a few people gawking at us, but I didn't really care. Nothing else mattered right now. I had a floating feeling in my stomach as I made my way to my own class, but that feeling disappeared when I was face-to-face with Madison. She was wearing a sneer and I tried to push my way past her, but she grabbed me by the arm, clenching her jaw and glaring at me coldly.

"Lesbians like you shouldn't be making out in the middle of the hallway where everyone can see. No one wants to see that, and I mean _no one_." Madison tightened her grip on my arm and I winced, surprised at her strength.

"Actually, I can think of someone." It was Aiden. I frowned, not knowing what to say. He'd acted like a total jerk about Ashley and I, yet now he seemed okay with it. Madison let go of my arm as I looked at Aiden in confusion. "I'm sorry about everything. I was just upset. One too many blows to the ego, I guess. You and Ashley are good together, though, I can tell. I think you can make each other really happy."  
"Yeah. We can." I confirmed, crossing my arms to my chest.

"Ugh, people like you make me sick." Madison muttered.

"Madison, do everyone a favor and shut the hell up. If you don't like what they're doing then don't watch. You don't have a right to tell them what to do. Everyone else makes out in the hallways and they don't get in trouble, so why should this be any different? People are people." I felt my smile grow as Glen joined us in the hallway, giving Madison a lecture on acceptance. Madison pushed him away from her, turning on her heel and stomping all the way down the hallway. I laughed, flashing my brother and ex boyfriend both a smile and finally getting to class. I was a few minutes late, but my teacher didn't seem to notice. His head was drooping downward and every 10 seconds he would let out a loud snore. The class was carrying on around him, yet he was still in a deep sleep. It amazed me how he could sleep through so much noise.

Taking a look at my watch, I wondered how much time was left before our morning assembly. I had a plan I needed to put into action...

**Ashley's POV**

I tried desperately to find Spencer in the crowd as we were being filed into the gymnasium, but it was hopeless. I couldn't find her amongst everyone that went to our school. Finding an empty seat, I was crushed between a fat kid and some goth guy with his lip pierced. I crossed my legs, staring open-mouthed at the mic stand when I realized that Spencer was standing there.

"I have an announcement to make." Her sweet voice filled the gym, and I clutched my bag closer to my body in anticipation. "A few days ago, I realized that I don't care anymore about what anyone thinks. I used to be so concerned about what people would say about me, or how they would treat me if I was different from them. But then I figured out that yeah, maybe I am different, but people like you have to learn to tolerate it. I'm not keeping myself from being happy just because I'm afraid of what people will say. No longer will I listen to the whispers in the hallway. No longer will I pay attention to the petty cheerleaders who think they own me. No longer will I deny my own happiness. I stand before you now and tell you that it doesn't matter who you think I am. It doesn't matter what you think about me and what I do. What does matter is I have the best friend in the world, and I love her more than anything. Now, Ashley, I'm only going to ask you this once with all of the school as my witness. Will you be my girlfriend?"

My breath caught in my throat and I was mesmorized. Everything she was saying was so true. God, she was so brave. I looked around, wondering why none of the teachers were stopping her. They were all standing there, gaping at her in surprise. I thought maybe they were all too shocked to do anything. Wobbily, I stood, walking across the gym floor and towards Spencer. Tears welled in my eyes as I took a spot beside of her.

"Yes. Yes I will." The tears spilled free and I hugged her tightly, my smile growing when I heard the sound of clapping all around us. We broke apart, and noticed that everyone in the bleachers was standing and clapping. They were giving us a standing ovation! Well, everyone except Madison and her friends who were sitting near the front, scowls evident on their faces. I pulled Spencer off of the stage and we took our seats in the bleachers, managing to find room to sit by each other. The rest of the assembly went as planned, but I didn't bother paying any attention to it. I was too focused on Spencer, and the look she was giving me.

_It's all about us.  
It's all about, all about us.  
There's a thing that they can't touch.  
'Cause ya know, it's all about us._

**A/N: I think this is a perfect ending. I hope you think so too.**


End file.
